‘Deny yourself and follow me’ by Kyle Henderson-Begg, 7 April 2024

What does it mean to deny ourselves, and what difference can this make? Kyle Henderson-Begg looks at what Jesus showed and taught, and what his followers came to believe about this. What are the advantages of self-control, and where can we find more strength to benefit from this?

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Good morning, for those who don’t know me, my name is Kyle, Rossie and I are some of the worship leaders at Severn and have been part of the family here for about 2 years now. We are also celebrating our 17th wedding anniversary today!!

While people get settled, I just want to echo Claire’s invitation to the worship and prayer night tomorrow night. They’ve been such precious times over the past few months, really lovely times of worship, it would be great if you could join us. 1945 at The Harbour.

This morning I want to spend some time looking at a passage from Luke 9, so feel free to find that in your bibles or on your devices.

When Claire asked me to speak today, she gave me agency to choose what to speak on, and because I am a glutton for punishment, I like tackling those passages that we kinda skip, because they are difficult to digest at first glance.

But we have to remember that these are words spoken by Jesus, and if we are to be apprentices to him, then we must learn to wrestle with some of these passages.

But I have to say that I have loved preparing this talk, and have spent a few weeks meditating on this passage. And I’m excited to share with you what I believe the Holy Spirit has placed on my heart for us as a church.

Incidentally, there is an excellent podcast on this passage by John Mark Comber. I've included the link to this at the bottom of my notes. I really recommend you taking some time to listen to that at some point over the next few days. I found it really helpful.

Let’s pray.

We are reading from the Gospel of luke. If you are unfamiliar with the bible, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, are four different accounts of the life and the words of Jesus. And the word Gospel means ‘good news’. So, they are the good news about Jesus.

It is easy to forget the historical accuracy of the Gospels, and Luke’s Gospel is said to have a lot of historical rigor; it is said that he was a doctor and a historian. Therefore we must take what he says with the weight due an accurate historical document.

Also, the passage we are reading is echoed in Matthew & John’s Gospel, worded differently, but similarly, so is backed up in its account. I say this, to help us measure the weight well.

In the lead up to this passage, the 12 disciples have been sent out on their first mission trip, they’ve seen nuts things happen, they come back and Jesus feeds 5k from 5 loaves and 2 fish.

Then Jesus asks the disciples who they think he is. It’s at this point Peter declares that Jesus is the Messiah. This is a crucial moment in the story, particularly for Peter

And Owen has been unpacking what that meant to the disciples regarding Jesus's actual rule on the earth and therefore the role the disciple’s would take in governing the nation of Israel. They were getting ready for Power

I highly recommend taking some time to listen to Owen’s talks on Acts, all on our website or wherever you stream your podcasts from, they are excellent and really worth the time to listen to and absorb.

Anyway, onto the passage. So, Luke 9: 23-27.

“Then he said to them all: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, but lose or forfeit his very self? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and the Holy angels. I tell you the truth, some of you who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God.”

Strong words!

There are two things we need to consider before we consider this passage.

Firstly, who said this?

Jesus.

What is he like? What is his character?

I ask these questions because these passages often get used as the stick, not the carrot.

It’s been used to install fear and to force conformity into the lives of believers.

I don’t think this is what Jesus had in mind when he said these words.

Also, our miss understanding of His Character means that we misinterpret his words.

So what is he like?

Well, thankfully, Claire has been teaching us over the past year or so through a series called ‘What is God like?’, again available online.

This series has been excellent at helping us re-calibrate our understanding of what God is like. His nature and his character.

Check those talks out, they are really excellent

But for this talk I want to use one of my favourite descriptive quotes….

“I want to turn your attention to the God Jesus reveals;

His God is Good and beautiful,

Loving and Trustworthy,

Self-sacrificing and forgiving,

Powerful and Caring,

And out for our Good.”

James Bryan-Smith

Jesus is the Lover of our soul. He is the good Shepherd. He is our Saviour, our friend. He is our God, He is our King, He is our Lord. He holds all of these aspects and more, in perfect tension.

The Perfect Triune Godhead, 3 in 1. The Father, the Son & the Holy Spirit.

This is the God who is speaking.

Not a God with a stick, who uses fear to control.

But a God who uses love as an invitation to relationship.

It is vital that we keep this in mind as we wrestle with these passages.

So, back to the passage.

“If anyone would come after me he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” vs24

Well, to start with we read it says ‘he’.

So ladies you’re off the hook!!

Kidding!!

Remember it’s a male dominated society, it’s not right, but that’s their cultural context, so as we read this ladies, include yourself please!

If we want to follow Jesus We must deny ourselves. - what on earth does Jesus mean in this? What does this look like?

Self denial is as counter cultural today as much as it was then.

In fact, to deny ourselves flies directly in the face of what our society teaches us, right?

Look at the commercials.

Don’t wait, buy now, watch now, taste now.

You don’t have enough. Buy now.

What did Freud teach us?

If it feels good, do it. Don’t deny yourself the pleasure you deserve!

After all, we’re just animals!

Our stories back this up.

How many of the top grossing movies are about celebrating the bravery of people leaving their families to pursue their ‘true love’.

In 1862 Emily Dickinson wrote ‘the heart wants what the heart wants, or else it does not care’ which was popularized by Woodie Allen when justifying his affair with actress Soon-Yi

Over lent my triplet did a daily devotional. We found this quote during holy week…

‘There are countless things in my life that I want my way. There are paths and options that I know are right for me. They maybe right for me, but are they suitable for the kingdom of God? They may accomplish my purpose, but do they achieve His purpose? These things are my will for my kingdom’ Carol Anne Tsai

I find this so helpful, because she’s right. But what does it look like?

Well, maybe you need to miss out on a promotion at work, because the way to get that promotion is to make other people look bad, or to cheat or to lie?

Maybe what you really want is a new car, a really sexy one. But the Lord is asking you to be generous to a friend, neighbour, family member, and so you won’t have the budget that you’d hoped for.

Maybe it’s a relationship where you want your sexual needs to be met, but you know that it’s not the right thing.

Denial of ourselves, or even the phrase Death to self, is really about submission. Another word for that would be to yield our will to be inline with His will.

We have been trained and conditioned to do the complete opposite of what Jesus invites us to.

But even if Jesus didn’t say this to us, we know that it is not true.

We all know that growth starts with denial of something.

You want a better income, so you need a better job?

Well, we start with denying ourselves time and money by going back to college to learn new skills.

You want to lose weight?

We deny ourselves that extra portion, that chocolate, that treat.

You want to get fitter, stronger?

It starts with self-denial.

We deny ourselves that time on the sofa, in the warm and dry and we take ourselves out onto the road in the early morning and we push our bodies.

This is the same for the spiritual journey too and is echoed by Paul.

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it a slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”

1 Corinthians 9vs24-27 NIV

Other translations say ‘make my body my slave, I bring it under my control

What is Paul and Jesus talking about when they teach us to deny ourselves?

It’s about self leadership & self-control.

But it’s more than that too.

It’s about surrender.

It’s about being yielded to the Holy Spirit.

Surrendered to his will, not ours

Surrendered to his desires, not ours.

Why?

Well let’s ask Paul again…

“ But, whatever was to my profit, I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.” Philippians 3 vs 7-8

What is Paul talking about losing things?

Well, remember, before he encountered Jesus, he was going places.

He was trained by the best spiritual leaders.

He had power, influence.

He would have had massive social status.

But in comparison to knowing Jesus, he views all of that as rubbish.

Our Uncle Clive says….

“Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink, sex, ambition, when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. - The weight of Glory. C.S Lewis

This is what Jesus is getting at when he calls us to deny ourselves.

We are to deny our selfish, sinful desires that are motivated out of fear, lack of trust, lack of understanding, or selfish ambition. So that He can fulfill our desires greater than anything our imagination can grasp hold of.

The Surpassing Greatness of knowing Christ Jesus.

Intimately knowing.

Mind blowing-ly knowing.

In galatians Paul talks about being led by the Spirit.

Before that he says that the works of the flesh or sinful nature are obvious and lists off the sinful desires.

But then he lists the fruit of the spirit.

These are the attributes we gain when we walk by the spirit.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

You want to know how to deny yourself?

Grow in self control.

You want to know how to do that?

Live by the spirit - live a life led by the spirit.

How do you do that?

Abide in him.

How do you do that?

surrender your desires, your will.

Live by the spirit

How do you do that?

abide.

Surrender,

Abide,

Live by the spirit.

Practically, what does that look like?

By self-discipline under the grace of the Holy Spirit.

A Daily rhythm of prayer, worship and reading the bible.

Being part of a home group & a triplet.

Pursuing relationship with God.

Living a life that reflects his values.

As we engage in this pattern of self-discipline, of abiding and surrender we find that the desires of our hearts change.

Our will lines up with his will.

The place of prayer is no longer where we tell God our orders, it becomes the place where our very lives become ordered.

Centered around him

And as we do this we find that we live in a circular pattern,

Led by the spirit, abide, yield, led by the spirit, abide, yield.

but it’s not circular.

It’s a swirl. The swirl leads us to the centre.

What’s at the centre?

Intimacy with Jesus.

The surpassing Greatness of knowing Jesus as our Lord, the Lover of our souls.

This is what Jesus means when he says whoever wants to save his life will lose it.

You want your own way? It’ll never give you what you want, what you need?

You want his way,

You will have all of that and more.

I want to finish with the passage from luke again, but this time from the Message version…

“Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.”

We are going to have a song of worship now to allow us time to consider how we respond to this invitation.

If you would like someone to pray with you, please find someone. If you are new and don’t know who to pray with, come to me, Claire, Owen, Shelly, Emma.

We’d all love to pray with you.