TRIPLETS RESOURCE
All of us need encouragement and support to help us keep growing in our faith, and meeting with a couple of other people on a regular basis can make a massive difference!
Triplets are a simple way to make sure that we are reflecting on what’s happening in our lives and in our hearts, and that we are being intentional in doing something about it. They are a friendship-based, peer-coaching model that is accessible to anybody, and they can happen online or in person.
We have put together this simple guide to share one model for triplets that can be really effective, with some suggestions of how you can set up and structure your time together. The process of meeting regularly and intentionally with 2 others, and the simple structure for reflecting and processing together enables us to identify what life and God are raising in each of our lives, to clarify our ownership of how we need to respond, and help us more authentically and vulnerably become the people God made us to be.
The process
Beforehand / at the start:
Find a triplet! People you relate to easily and who are up for such a process.
Agree on expectations the first time you meet (what you are committing to and what you’ll do when you meet: eg weekly or fortnightly for 1 hour; 15 minutes focus on each person; praying for each other at the end).
Set a date to review how it’s going (e.g. in 6 weeks if you meet weekly / 3 months if fortnightly) and if you want to continue for longer.
Discuss if there are any areas you most want to focus on (e.g. family / home life / Inner life / Work life)? Are there any areas you want to steer clear of?
Are you happy to commit to emailing out brief headline reflections to each other before each time you meet, using the 4 questions suggested:
What has gone well this last week / since we last talked?
Where have I got stuck or been emotionally triggered?
What else is getting my attention or is ‘live’ for me?
What am I thinking to lean into for this next week?
Of course you are welcome to come up with your own specific questions for your triplet as well!
Your triplet time (1 hour max)
If you want to keep to an hour, then we suggest the following pattern:
5 mins to say hi & a quick catch up;
15 mins focus on each person (10 Q&A, 5 mins of feedback reflection & discussion) x3 - total 45 mins;
5-10 minutes to pray for each other at the end
You’ll need to agree your 3 roles for the 1st round: a coach (someone who asks the questions), a coachee (the person who answers), and an observer (who keeps an eye on time, and just listens). For subsequent rounds, we’d recommend that the coach becomes the coachee, the observer become the coach, and the coachee has a rest (becomes the observer)!
For 10 mins, the coach asks questions of the coachee - using their written reflections as a ‘diving in’ point and then guiding them ‘through the egg timer’ (below). This means helping them identify the 1 most live issue (you could start with ‘What feels most live to you at the moment?’, or ask about particular things that caught your attention in their reflections), then work towards application (specific actions they might take, when they might take them, and resources they might need).
Key things to for the coach to remember: you are not there to give advice or solutions, only to guide the coachee by asking questions! Also, try to make sure you land on an action point / application.
The observer gives a 1 minute warning as Q&A lands... and can then ask both the coach and coachee how they feel it went and can give their own observations.
At the end of the 3 rounds of sharing, pray for each other.
You should land in just under an hour!