“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (NIV)

“Forgive us the wrongs we have done, as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us.” (Good News)

Greg Nixon writes:

I’ve grown up with the version of this prayer “forgive us our sins”, but increasingly I find “debts” a helpful word, as pretty much everyone can relate to being in debt, or to having lent money to someone else. Debt can cripple, and we may have experienced the freedom, the lifting of great weight from our shoulders when a debt is cancelled or paid off, or when we finish making monthly payments.

Which hopefully makes it hit home that bit more, when Jesus calls us to forgive others if they owe us something, or if we feel they owe us something. By forgiving, we lift a double burden – the one we have placed on their shoulders, and the one we have been carrying around with us. I’m also reminded of “let no debt remain outstanding, except for the continuing debt to love one another” (Romans 13v8), and when “if we are at the altar and remember our brother or sister has something against us, we are to go back [miles home from the altar in Jerusalem!] and be reconciled to them, only then returning to offer our gift” (Matthew 5v23-24).

As God’s daughters and sons, we are called both to make peace and to forgive. And as God’s sons and daughters, we realise and celebrate that we ourselves have been released from the greatest debt, into the greatest freedom.

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (NIV)

“Forgive us the wrongs we have done, as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us.” (Good News)

This week, we are praying along with the Watts family - parents Jen and Rick with children Abbie and Nathan.

Rick says:

We discussed as a family whether forgiveness affects us as well as the person we forgive. When we hold onto past hurts, resentment grows inside us like a poison. When we forgive others, it frees us too. However, just because we forgive someone, it doesn’t mean that our relationship with them remains unchanged. If someone hurts us and isn’t sorry about this, then we may not be able to trust them as much in the future.

Jen says:

This reminds me of the parable of the ungrateful servant in Matthew 18. The master cancels the servant’s huge debt when he comes begging to him, yet the servant hounds another servant for a far smaller debt. Whatever wrongs anyone else has done to us, it is nothing compared to what we have done to offend God. He is totally pure and holy, and our thoughts and actions can be impure, full of greed and self-serving.

Yet God graciously overlooks all our flaws and loves us as though we were as pure and deserving of heaven where all is perfect as his perfect son. If he can do that for us, then we can forgive others.

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (NIV)

“Forgive us the wrongs we have done, as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us.” (Good News)

Shannon Nath writes:

Working through the second line, forgiveness is something easier said than done. In our current distant world, it is very easy to just forget. I know I have been in situations where I have felt wronged and it would be easier to entirely walk away from that relationship than to calm down and forgive for a friend’s mistake. I remind myself that I too make mistakes sometimes. I ask for forgiveness. To deny someone that which I ask for seems cruel. I believe this line serves as a humble reminder to forgive, even when it is easy not to.

Of course, it is wishful to hope that you will not have to forgive people. It is an ideal that the people who you love will not let you down. But whether intentionally or not, it is a situation we all encounter at some point or another. Our relationships are about both giving and receiving. It would not be right to accept forgiveness but to never give it when it is needed back. It makes for a resentment that eats you up inside. If you are too preoccupied with holding this grudge, it will be awfully hard to have a fulfilling relationship with God.

Even when it feels challenging, forgiving is possible and will allow healing.

For those of you with little ones at home, this short video may help 😊

Is there anyone that you need to forgive?

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (NIV)

“Forgive us the wrongs we have done, as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us.” (Good News)

Dan Green writes:

Forgiveness is a topic that seems to keep popping up in our family (or perhaps more accurately, the ongoing need for it does!) so our discussion about this part of the Lord’s prayer threw up all kinds of questions… Is forgiving the same as forgetting? Can we forgive someone if they don’t apologise or say sorry? And can we forgive if we haven’t experienced forgiveness ourselves?

We talked about how difficult it must be to forgive if you’ve never received forgiveness yourself, from God or from others. Somehow the two are linked, which might be why Jesus instructed us to pray in this specific way. Similarly, it probably doesn’t make much sense to just be on the receiving end of forgiveness without also extending forgiveness to others. Again, the two seem to be very much connected.

We also agreed (in between our servings of macaroni cheese and glasses of blackcurrant squash) that forgiveness doesn’t just benefit the person who’s receiving it, but the person who is choosing to forgive as well. We know what it feels like to be upset with each other and to hold on to the frustration and resentment that can build up inside, and we know what it feels like to be free of those emotions once things have been talked about and we’ve chosen to forgive each other. Although it normally doesn’t feel easy to forgive, we’re so glad when we have done!

Our prayer today is that each of us would be fully aware of God’s forgiveness for us, and that we’d have the courage and strength to forgive even when it feels difficult.

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (NIV)

“Forgive us the wrongs we have done, as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us.” (Good News)

Joanna Moss writes:

One of my favourite lines from our discussion on this verse came from the motto of previous school Laura had taught at. It was, ‘Every child, every day’ which was supposed to mean that every child was to be treated as if they had a clean slate each day. Every day was a new chance. And this is of course how God is with us, no matter what happens today He still sees us as white as snow, cleared of all debts, shiny and clean.

For all of us, as we reflected on forgiveness, we were struck by the immense grace of God’s forgiveness to us and the often limited and reluctant forgiveness we show to others. Laura spoke about how when we forgive someone, we demonstrate God’s own forgiveness of us. And that when we limit forgiveness, we hinder our own understanding of God’s forgiveness over us. For Andrew, he reflected on how totally undeserving we are of God’s forgiveness but yet we often still judge others and hold resentment against them, even after we have supposedly forgiven them.

Through this reflection, it has exposed to us our own struggles with forgiveness and in letting things go. But as we took this verse in the context of the whole prayer, we came back to the same thought of this being part of a daily practice. For each of us, as we try to intentionally pray this prayer daily, we can practice letting things go, laying things down and placing our hurts and judgements into God’s hands everyday – from the small annoyances to the big offences. With the hope that by practicing forgiveness regularly we can become better at the forgiving the bigger things, and in resting in God’s forgiveness and grace over us.

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (NIV)

“Forgive us the wrongs we have done, as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us.” (Good News)

Bern Leckie writes:

Have you ever tried explaining “sin” to someone who isn’t churchy? It’s not too hard to explain in terms of breaking God’s rules, but it’s very hard to convince someone who isn’t sure they believe in God that this matters.

Thankfully, when we picked up two Bible versions of the prayer Helen and I had learned as “forgive us our sins”, the word sin had already been replaced with “debts” or “wrongs”. Now these words feel much more meaningful for conversations with our friends and colleagues. I have been in debt to some of them, and some are to me. We feel the importance of this, how easy it is to hold on to the sense of what we are owed, and how hard it is to forgive.

6-year-old Noah hasn’t suffered with debt but does recognise what it is to do wrong, or to be wronged by someone else. This was an easy conversation to get a quick nod of agreement that this is a thing, but I know from all of our past tears and deep feelings how hard it is to try mining the sources of hurt where there is unforgiveness. It’s a weight which is harder to carry than any other debt.

So, when we approach God to be honest about where we need forgiveness, I think it’s amazing that Jesus ties this to an expectation that we can and will be forgivers too.

I think it’s easy to read “forgive us… as we forgive” as a limit on God’s willingness to forgive, like a trickle of blessing he will hold back until we mend our own ways. But when I prayed about this, I had more of a picture of blessing and forgiveness rushing like unstoppable water from God, the source of more love and blessing than we can handle or contain within ourselves. When we are truly open to it, open with God and willing to be open to others, that forgiveness blows our valves open. It changes us into people who can’t hold onto resentment.

Are we there yet? I’m really encouraged that it felt hard to identify unforgiveness, because I think God has been flooding us with forgiveness and helping us walk through forgiving each other on a regular basis.

I’m praying for this to continue, and especially that Noah’s young and optimistic views on love and forgiveness will mature and grow to be a recognisable force among his friends: truly strong, Christ-like and reliant on God’s power. It’s one of the ways we can hope to see God’s kingdom come where we are.